25 Sep Surviving Cancer
Back in 2006, Deborah Zammit was diagnosed with breast cancer. She was only 35 years old at the time and her two boys were only three and four years of age.
“I felt entirely healthy,” says Deborah, “nothing seemed amiss, until one morning, I woke up and noticed a nipple retraction on my right breast. At first I thought nothing of it, but then I felt a lump exactly above the nipple.”
“I went for a check-up and a mammogram as quickly as I could and since I’m from Gozo, the radiologist told me to go to Malta for further investigations.”
“I hated having to leave the children behind and I still don’t understand why to this very day, we still don’t have a breast clinic in Gozo. My husband and my sister accompanied me for my first visit with the surgeon and the breast clinic nurse and after the surgeon did the biopsy we had to wait a couple of days for the results to come out. Those two days were the longest, most excruciating days of my life. I kept telling myself that I was too young to have cancer, but somehow, deep down, I just knew that something was terribly wrong. And I was right. I did have cancer.”
“Hearing the word cancer brings fear and disbelief,” says Deborah . “The surgeon explained that my best option was to perform a mastectomy, followed by chemotherapy and radiotherapy but even though I knew that this was the best thing to do, upon arriving home, I broke down because I was worried sick about what my husband was going to think of me when my hair fell out and had no breast. When I told my husband what was on my mind, he looked at me and almost incredulously said, “I love you just the way you are; I know that it is going to be very hard to lose a part of your body, but we have to concentrate on your life first. The priority is that you get better and then we will see what to do about other things later”.
“I knew that our life was going to change dramatically. I knew that we had to switch to living day by day, but I was determined to fight the cancer not only for myself and my husband but also for our two little children.”
“The physical and emotional pain was indescribable. The sadness and the sense of loss were almost unberable. The only thing that kept me going was my determination – I decided to be strong and to fight with with all my might.”
“The mastectomy happened so fast that I did not have time to think about it. In a way this was a good thing, but on the other hand I was totally unprepared for the result – I had no idea what to expect or how I was going to look after the operation – not to mention that I wasn’t informed abou the basics, like what surgical garments to take with me to hospital, or what to wear afterwards. In hindsight I know that had I had more information, I would have felt much better about the whole ordeal.”
“Before going down for surgery the surgeon told me that he felt very sorry that he couldn’t save my breast, but he assured me that in a year’s time we could reconstruct a new one. So with that uplifting comment in mind I went down for surgery but even by the time that I was going to be discharged from hospital I still wasn’t ready to face my husband. When a nurse came to change my dressing I didn’t want my husband to look at me because I felt so ashamed and so bad about my body, but the nurse convinced me to let him stay. She told me that seeing the physical scars would help him understand better what I had been through and how I was feeling. And she was right.”
“I have to say that my family really and truly came through and did everything they could to help. My mum and dad moved into our house until I had completely recovered from the surgery, the chemotherapy and radiotherapy. My sister supported me from day one by never missing a single appointment or chemo session. And my husband, my strongest rock, really lived up to his promise and stood by me through thick and thin. As a married couple cancer reminded us that life is not forever and that we have to make the most out of every day. Since the diagnosis my husband and I have been spending more time together and the bond between us has never been stronger.”
“Knowing that your husband will always be there to support you through such difficult life journeys is an incredible feeling to live with. He was always there when I was feeling down; always ready with a smile and a joke, and that’s what kept me going. Admittedly I was one of the lucky ones because the chemo did not make me feel too sick, but because our children were sitll very young I had to make up a little white lie to justify the hairloss. I thought that being a pirate for a few months never hurt anyone, so I bought a few bandanas and we played priates all the way.”
“Unfortunately however, because we lived in Gozo I didn’t find any help or any kind of support from healthcare professionals. At the time there was nothing set up, nowhere to go, and nobody to turn to. Thinking back I now know that although I had a lot of support from my family, I wish I could have had someone else to talk to because when you are passing through such a phase in your life there are certain feelings and emotions that you can’t say or describe to family members. The only thing I could think of doing when I felt this was was to drive to the seaside and cry my eyes out. That’s the only way I knew how to cope and when my doctor prescribed me antidepressants I never took them because I knew that all I needed was a psychologist or a counsellor – some kind of professional who would help me deal with my feelings.”
“I’m super glad that today Europa Donna Malta ( breast care support group ) has a group also in Gozo – here a woman can speak to someone who has gone through the experience and is ready to listen, visit and talk to whoever needs support. “
“In 2008 I decided to go for the reconstruction of my right breast but in order to balance things out I also had to have a reduction on my left breast. Again I found total support from my family and all seemed to have gone well, but then in 2012, I found out that the implant was a PIP implant – PIP implants were found to have high rupture risks – and this meant that I had to have it replaced. The surgeon referred me to a plastic surgeon and I had surgery on the 5th of March of this year, at the age of 41.”
“Our children, Isaac and Joshua, are now 10 and 9 years old respectively, so I decided to be honest with them and tell them the truth about what I had been through. As a result, this time around, when I returned from hospital, they understood the situation better and acted like two grown up men ready to take care of their mum.”
“I still can’t believe that in this day and age we still don’t have a breast care clinic in Gozo. I‘m sure that we can afford a little space at the Gozo General Hospital and it would safeguard so many women’s health, and save so much hardships to sufferers and their families.”
“A special thank you must go out to my friend Yvonne for her total support and care, and last but not least to Ms. Gertrude Abela for all she’s doing for this cause. I will be forever indebted for those who taught me that having breast cancer is not a sin, it’s not anyone’s fault, and that it’s not something to be ashamed of; it’s just a cruel reality that we have to face, but if we face it with dignity it will help us fight hard to become survivors.”
For a side box :
Contacts: Europa Donna Malta ( Breast Care Support Group )
Tel: 21 482602
Helpline: 9999 4666
Website: www.europadonnamalta.org.mt
Email: info@europadonnamalta.org.mt
: http://www.facebook.com/bcsged
Meetings in Malta every 1st Thursday of the month at 48, St Anne’s Street Floriana at 5 30pm
Meetings in Gozo every 2nd Tuesdays of the month at 9 30am at 18, Gedrin Street Victoria
