10 Feb A Second Chance
The story of Dr. Roselyn Borg who is divorced, in love with her husband & running for office, was first published in The Valentine’s Day Supplement of The Sunday Times on Sunday 8th February, 2015
Roselyn Borg (36) and Crispian Knight(45) are what the English would describe as chalk and cheese. They are not just different but really, really different. Roselyn’s curly and rowdy hair reflects her character -she’s bubbly, vociferous, opinionated and a bag of fun. Crispian on the other hand is, tall, blonde, and every hair is precisely in place – he’s prim, proper, polite, organised, and perfect for Roselyn.
Roselyn is a lawyer specialised in employment law. She met Crispian eight years when she was working at a firm in England. Since then, their differences have seen them through a marriage, a divorce, and now a baby boy.
“I will never forget the first time I met Crispian,” says Roselyn. “As soon as I laid my eyes on him, my heart sang out I want! I want! I want!”
“I was working as an employment solicitor in England and my role was to assist him with the closure of a company, and in particular the redundancies. Crispian was the Managing Director and my colleague said that she had felt our chemistry almost instantly.”
“I was 28 and he was 37 and we were both at the stage where we were ready to settle down, so once the case that we were working on was over, we got together. At first we lived miles away and only met at weekends, but after some time we moved in together. A few months later we took off on a crazy trip around the world. We visited 9 countries in 6 and a half weeks.
Crispian is very very organised and Roselyin is constantly teasing him and joking about his OCD. Roselyn on the other hand is utterly disorganised at home. “He is domesticated and I am not,” says Roselyn as a matter of fact. “He is always clearing up, cooking and doing DIY jobs.”
Despite their differences, after having lived together for over a year they decided to take the plunge and get married. But their wedding was a bittersweet experience; they had to move it forward because Roselyn’s father was terminally ill.
“It was a very tough time for me. It was a lot to deal with because my dad and I were ever so close.”
Crispian and Roselyn were only married for two years. They then got divorced only to fall in love all over again, get back together and become the happy parents of one-month-old Edward Alexander Knight.
“Getting divorced was not a decision we took lightly,” explains Roselyn. “During our marriage we spent time apart and ended up in different places, both emotionally and psychologically. Looking back I do not think that I had fully realised the commitment I had signed up for, and after the loss of my father I was so angry and bitter that I rebelled. Thinking that life is too short for commitments, I decided that I wanted to be free to have fun. Crispian used to say that I had become a teenager all over again.”
“My father’s loss also made me want to spend more time in Malta, in fact I ended up moving back and this was major factor in the break up of our marriage. It was a very difficult and sad time but we knew we could not go forward together. I needed a lot of space and Crispian wanted me attached to him. Eventually we both realised that it wasn’t working so we got divorced in England.”
But Roselyn’s and Crispian’s divorce was not a typical one. “It was amicable all the way,” says Roselyn with tears in her eyes. “It was sad but friendly. He even helped me pack, and instead of fighting over who was going to keep what, we insisted on giving things to each other. I even passed on my solicitor’s details because I did not feel that I needed legal representation.”
But when she moved back to Malta, Roselyn felt like she was losing everything. “I had sold my law firm in the UK, and had to start all over again,” she explains. “Crispian sold the house we used to share and bought an old house that required major renovation. I was constantly worried about him and he was worried-sick about me. Looking back now, I have no idea how I coped.”
Whilst divorced, Roselyn and Crispian kept in touch. Roselyn thinks that she used work reasons as an excuse not to let go completely because after some time living apart, she realised that they were still unhappy.
“Something was missing. Our lives were not right,” she says.
“We missed what we had before and realised that it had actually been really good. We realised that circumstances had been against us and that’s why we had walked away. After the divorce we both dated other people and that helped us realise that what we had together was hard to beat. We are a good team and, despite our differences we are still on the same wavelength. We have a lot of common interests and our way of thinking is very similar. Most importantly, now we agree on the type of lifestyle we want.”
After one year apart, Roselyn and Crispian realised that they still loved each other. “I still wake up some mornings and stare at him and think that he is just gorgeous,” says Roselyn. “But I do not regret our divorce,” she adds. “I would not have been able to live with an “if”. I would much rather take a risk than live with that question mark in my head.
“I did learn however that I should not make big decisions when going through difficult times. I also learnt that I should appreciate what I have and not to always think that the grass is greener on the other side because sometimes it just isn’t. I also learnt that people deal with grief differently. I, for example, rebelled. At the time it was the only way I could handle my father’s loss.”
Once back with Crispian and already pregnant with their son, late last year Roselyn decided to join the Nationalist Party as a candidate for the next general elections. Many people were surprised at her decision.
“Crispian and I both have a great interest and passion for politics and he has always encouraged me to follow this path,” explains Roselyn. “I just kept procrastinating but then the opportunity came along last September and we both knew that the time had come. He is very supportive and I know that I have the right partner for the path I chose. Of course now that we have our little bundle of joy, whom we named after my late father, it will be more challenging, but many people have done it before, so why not us? We have the energy and the positive attitude required, so we will give it our best shot.”
The Nationalist Party is not exactly a winning horse at the moment, and some might argue that it’s bad timing to join it now, but Roselyn disagrees. “I really felt I wanted to do something; to be part of the change the Party needed; to be part of the renewal process. In addition, as with my personal life, I don’t know how to live with an ‘if,’ so when the opportunity came along I decided to go for it.”
“The Party is fully aware of my personal situation. I’m an open book and when I was called in for a meeting I just blurted out the whole story. I was entirely honest about my personal situation and the Party appreciated my honesty. The fact that I’m living with my divorced husband who is also the father of my child has never been an issue, and I am sure it will not be. The Nationalist Party is a Party that welcomes people with different backgrounds.”
Will Roselyn and Crispian get married again? “Who knows? Watch this space,” says Roselyn with a wicked smile.
Check out the original feature that appeared on The Sunday Times here
