29 Nov Women in Libya (before the revolution)
The thought of women living in an Arab country sparks off mental images of repression, Burqas and bedouin ways of life. Until the discovery of petroleum, and possibly even until the 1969 revolution this was very much the case, even in neighbouring Libya. Though most of us are still under the impression that Libya is still not a great place for women, over the years things seem to have been changing at dramatic speeds.
Alison Bezzina speaks to three Maltese women, who have packed their bags and families, and happily moved to Libya for good.
Four and a half years ago Christine Bartolo Parnis was offered a job with the Corinthia Group. She was told that she would be based in Libya and would therefore have to move there permanently. At the time, Christine had already been married for 12 years and had two boys aged 9 and 7.
“I had only visited the country once before and that was for my job interview,” says Christine with a crafty smile on her face. “Although I had been brought up with the typical prejudices that the Maltese harbour for the Libyans, I still decided to take on the challenge and try it out. I moved there in May 2006, and my husband and sons joined me a few months later. At first we lived in an expatriates’ compound, where we had very little exposure to the locals. Most of the time I just travelled from work and back home, but after a few months we decided to move out of the compound and to look for a house in another area. By this time we had already got used to the culture and the people and had fallen in love with the place.”
“I find the Libyans to be truly genuine, altruistic and most of all loyal. Even though I’ve only been there a few years, I can very safely say that I can count on most of my Libyan friends, and should I need assistance with anything, I would be spoilt for choice of whom to call.”
“Surely it is a bit of a culture shock in the beginning, but nothing more than what I would feel in any other non-European country. My impression of the place was good from the start because the road leading from the airport to the centre of Tripoli is wide, modern, and with no potholes to speak of. I had a few eye-opening experiences since then, like the way they celebrate weddings with the men and women segregated for four days, how a woman is sometimes asked to wear a Hijab right after marriage, and how foreign men are not allowed in a Libyan house if the head of the house is not home, but these are cultural differences which I’m glad to learn about and ultimately embrace. After all I am a guest in their country, and I respect that. ”
In less than a year Christine felt right at home and moved to another job. She is now the Director of Services and Marketing for the Alwaddan Hotel – the oldest hotel in Tripoli dating back to the 1930s, and recently renovated into Libya’s most elegant boutique hotel.
“I’m a very career orientated person. I love my job and the fact that it gives me the opportunity to mingle with many different types of people. The guests at the hotel are mostly American and European but my colleagues are mostly Libyans. It’s probably because I’m foreign that as a female I can hold such a post in Libya, and I am aware that Libyan women might not have it so easy. My sales managers are two young Libyan men, and I believe that had I been a local female they would find objection with reporting to me. Having said that, I truly believe that it is also about attitude. I believe that knowing your place, respecting the culture and traditions, and being knowledgeable about attitudes and the way of life is the secret to fitting in.”
“I was once in a lift with a Libyan colleague and when the doors opened, he motioned for me to pass before him. He said ‘after you’, and as I walked past him he added ‘you only get to walk ahead of me because you’re not my wife, otherwise you’d be walking behind me’. So yes, there are double standards for local and foreign women especially when it comes to the dress code. Although I am careful not to wear short skirts, or low necklines, I’m fully aware that foreign women can get away with much more.”
“It’s quite upsetting that in Malta no one has a good word to say about the Libyans, when most Maltese have not visited the country nor taken the time to get to get to know the Libyans. It’s not fair that the Maltese judge a whole nation by the few trouble makers who came to Malta in the past. Although they are might still be in a disadvantaged economic situation, I find the Libyans to be exceptional people, with very strong values and principles.”
Christine sees things are changing very fast in Libya, but she believes that it might take a while longer until Libya’s doors are opened wide for foreign trade and tourists. “The Libyans are a very proud creed. They will not open the doors to their country until they are fully ready to show it off. Up to a few years ago you couldn’t go to a supermarket and find all the brands and products you want, but now it’s common practice. I do hope that once the economic gap is bridged, and the country doors are opened up to foreign visitors, that Libya remains the beautiful and traditional place that it is today. Unlike common belief it’s a gem, and its people are unique in many ways.”
Sarah Fenech 32 moved to Tripoli over a year ago and unlike her preconceived fears, she has fully integrated in the Libyan way of life.
“My husband was offered a good job with Palm City in Libya, and we decided to give it a shot. Although I hadn’t found a job before we moved I was lucky enough to find one very soon after. I now work at St. James Hospital in Tripoli and even though this is my first experience of living abroad it’s great. I remember being very excited about the job and about living in a new country with a different culture to what I was used to. Today I can say that I am so happy to be there, I have great colleagues who have taught me so much about healthcare as well as life in Libya.”
Like most of the Maltese, Sarah had very bad impressions of Libya, but today, that she has experienced it for herself, she believes that she could not have been more wrong. “From the very beginning I started to realise what kind, hospitable and friendly people the Libyans are. I was so surprised when I saw the beautiful beaches and the Old Medina in contrast with the new skyscrapers and recent developments. Before getting here, I also thought that it would be unbearably hot and humid but I was wrong about that too, in fact I find it not half as humid as it is in Malta.
Despite the lack of social venues like bars and pubs, Sarah claims to have a great social life. “We have a very good circle of friends and we find different ways to entertain ourselves. Life here is much calmer than our life in Malta. My husband and I get to spend a lot more quality time together and although we do not have children yet I truly believe that Libya is a great place to bring up young children because there is more time for the family as well as a choice of some very good schools.”
Of course, not everything is hunky dory but Sarah finds it hard to say that there are some things she hates about the place. “Hate no, dislikes yes!” she says. “The driving is really chaotic for instance so I don’t drive there and I don’t think that I ever will. And even though a number of good restaurants have opened, and the expat community is growing at an incredible rate, we do miss a good night out at a bar or pub, but Malta is only a 30 minute flight away so it’s very easy to pop over for the weekend.”
Though most people clearly see the gender gap in most Arab countries, Sarah thinks that in Libya it all boils down to your status. “I don’t think that being male or female has anything to do with it. The way you’re treated has more to do with being married or whether you have a family with your not. Being single and living in Libya would result in a different lifestyle. I do believe that this makes all the difference and even though women are treated differently to men, it is a cultural thing that is ingrained in the lifestyle. Women are highly respected and these days with the economy improving at a very fast rate, most of them have the opportunity to get very good jobs. Since we’ve been in Libya we’ve seen constant development, with new hotels, new restaurants, shopping malls, office spaces, and new roads. I have to say that I am very impressed with the speed at which things have developed in this short time that we’ve been there.”
The similarity in languages is a plus point for every Maltese who moves to Libya, but Sarah has had her fair share of being lost in translation. “Around a year ago I was planning dinner for some of our friends at home, so the day before I asked my husband to go buy a very large leg of lamb from the butcher. Sure enough he came home proudly carrying a huge load of meat which I proceeded to marinate overnight in preparation for dinner the next day. I put the meat in the oven some two hours before our guests were due to arrive, and after some time that it was cooking, we noticed that there was a funny smell emanating from the oven. At that point we did not think much of it but when the time came to serve the lamb and we opened the oven, we were hit by a stench that could only have meant one thing – Mutton! I asked my husband what exactly had he asked the butcher for, and he giddily said that he had asked for a ‘Haruf Kabir’. Contrary to what we think this does not mean ‘large lamb’ but ‘old lamb,’ and hence the mutton.
Louise Gatt (29), is a sophisticated young women with good business brains in her genes. She didn’t finish university due to being young and lack of interest. Instead she decided to pursue her personal passion of learning the Arabic language.
“When I was a child, my mother had a few Libyan friends who came from very good families and had great backgrounds, so I grew up fascinated by the culture and mostly the language. Although I was exposed to the Maltese’s prejudices of Libya, I never for a second feared moving there. Luckily when I was still at school Arabic was not a compulsory subject, had it been I might have grown up to hate it.”
Louise got her first opportunity to move to the Arab world way back when she was still 19 years old. “When I dropped out of university I had a lot of time on my hands, so after a while of idling around I decided to start a Diploma in Marketing and to study Arabic. As a result I was awarded a scholarship to study Arabic in Tunisia and later I went on to graduate with a degree in Arabic Culture. Soon after my short stint in Tunisia, I was offered a job with the Corinthia Group in Libya. That was ten years ago and I’ve been there ever since.”
“When I first got to Libya things were very different to what they are today. I immediately saw the challenge and was hypnotically lured towards it. It was so raw and genuine that I could hardly restrain my excitement. Over the years I’ve seen incredible developments, improvements and changes and I’m so glad that I was there to see it happen, to have been a part of that change.”
A year after moving to Libya, Louise left for Dubai thinking that it might be an even better experience. “I typically took on the challenge but despite Dubai being more economically developed, I found myself drawn back to the Libyan world. People assume that Dubai is better than Libya, but honestly I do not think so. Libya has a richer culture, and the people are more down to earth. In Libya for instance I’m invited to people’s houses all the time, whereas in Dubai once you’re an expat you remain an expat and are never invited into the inner circle of people’s homes and families. I find that in Libya the people are by far more open, hospitable and welcoming to foreigners.”
Louise admits to being naturally drawn to things that the majority repel. “It is probably this character trait that first drew me towards learning Arabic,” she explains. “I like being the innovator, doing things that others would not dream of. My friends tease me about it in fact. They say that I should probably improve my Maltese rather than focus on perfecting my Arabic, but Maltese is only spoken by 400, 000 people, whilst the Arab language will take you to the edge of the earth.”
Besides being one of the Directors of a family-run local travel agency, Louise also runs two other companies in Libya. The first serves as a support and marketing branch for two Libyan Travel agencies which she set up with Libyan partners in Benghazi and Tripoli, and the other is a school for both adults and children also run in collaboration with a female Libyan partner. “In Libya having a good reputation and good Libyan partners is essential. In the past many Maltese have come here with the intention of making a quick buck, and because of them the Libyans are now quite weary of us. However once, you proof your worth and once your Libyan partners are sound, then doing business with the Libyans is a pleasure. I don’t even think it makes a difference whether you’re male or female even though the business world is very male dominated. I’m cautious with my dress code of course, I respect their religion, culture and mentality, but once you’re in a foreign country that’s a given. Even a man would have to adapt to it, so it’s not any different or easier for them.”
For the first couple of years, Louise lived in and out of hotels, now however she lives in an apartment on her own. “I’m single, and I stay in Libya for stretches of three weeks at a time. I live in a good area, but I’m still careful. Driving for instance is not quite the norm and most expats have drivers and Libyan women use taxis. Although it has a lot to do with the driving being quite chaotic, it is also not part of the mainstream culture for Libyan women to drive. Despite these cultural differences I would move here permanently, and although I would never mix business with pleasure, I do not eliminate the possibility of marrying a Libyan man. I’m very familiar with the religion because I’ve studied it, so I’m not afraid of it and am fully aware of the adaptation that I would need to consider. Some people wonder how I could possibly be open to the idea of having to raise my children as Muslims, but if I fall in love with a Muslim and marry him, I don’t see why I should have a problem with my children following their father’s religion.”
First published on Pink magazine in November 2010.
